“Life flows, everything changes and so do the seasons.”
On Tuesday, June 3rd, I had the pleasure of sitting down with my friend and poet, Una. We met at Skek on Zeedijk Street in Amsterdam's city center. She likes to come there every once in a while to write some words or dance to the music. The place, part of Stichting Kriterion (Kriterion Foundation), is ran by students and provides a safe space to hang out with friends. Upon entering, I understood why Una prefers and suggested this spot; the staff was friendly and guests calmly enjoyed the warm and comfortable atmosphere.
Before we met up, I had sent her some questions to uncover and clarify her identity, becoming, her purpose, love and legacy. Like a true writer, she went through the list of journal prompts, as she called it, and filled entire pages beforehand. During our conversation we discussed her answers often digressing, but by the end I had managed to get a clear picture of Una and her unique and inspiring way of experiencing life. It was a conversation that felt like an exploration of a perspective that holds gentle and powerful insights for anyone seeking a deeper connection with themselves and the world around them.
The power of noticing and feeling
Una began our dialogue by calling herself ‘a lover of the visible invisible’. This core self-identification revealed a profound approach to her lifestyle: she loves standing still, recording, observing and listening. It’s in this quiet practice that she feels she can romanticise the small things in life, which in turn makes ‘everything’ fun, no matter what it may be. Paying attention to these so-called ‘details of life’ is what reminds her of what being alive and human truly means. Documenting these ‘visible invisible’ things with her mind helps her to stay present.
The ‘visible invisible’ things are exactly that, details that are always present but often go unnoticed or aren’t given a second thought. It’s things like looking at people on the street and simply observing. She shared a beautiful example:
‘I have this friend who often talks down on herself, but when I look at her I’m obsessed. I see something like a tooth that’s slightly crooked, her ear piercing or a birthmark under her nose and think, “wow, you’re so beautiful”.’
She sees the small things that make her friends human, holds them close and draws inspiration from them. This practice of seeing and valuing the ‘perfect imperfection’ in others offers a touching perspective on how we might learn to appreciate it in ourselves and the world around us.
Her journey with emotions also highlights a powerful transformation. As a child, she hesitated to show her emotions to others and often put on a brave face, only letting her feelings out behind closed doors. Now, she couldn’t be any more emotional, and rightfully so. She jokingly blamed her Cancer moon for this development. Emotion now radiates from her being, letting everything move her, something she’s very proud of. She reasoned, ‘why not, I’m human, [being emotional] is a part of it’.
By allowing herself to feel and show everything, she believes she is attracting others who are also open and ‘raw’. This, she feels, is beautiful because life is too short and fragile not to be authentic. Her experience offers an invitation for others to embrace their own emotional authenticity.
Embracing growth
Life’s journey often involves navigating difficult periods, something Una is no stranger to. Her reflections offer relatable and instructive lessons in authenticity, perseverance, resilience and self-care.
‘It’s been a really good fucking year’, she said. After a time where she felt she acted out of character and ‘wasn’t in her body’, she reflected on destructive behavioural patterns. Particularly where she put herself last and what it cost her. This process of identifying and reflecting on these patterns is a key step in personal growth. Una also highlighted the importance of supportive relationships; her friendship with Rosanne, which began in February of this year, significantly helped her get ‘out of her cocoon’. Rosanne showed her that love isn’t something you constantly have to fight for, that it’s okay to expect things from others and that you don’t always have to apologise. This year has been an ongoing period of positive development for Una, ‘it’s going in the right direction and I’m happier than ever’.
Una also spoke about what she inherited from her two hardworking Croatian parents: perseverance. Perseverance always kept her going, whether trying not to disappoint her parents or striving for her best in every way. Everything she wanted or had to do got done, no matter what. While acknowledging it sometimes led to perfectionism, which could be somewhat negative, she sees perseverance as something good, showing that things don’t just happen without hard work. Even when she didn’t get what she wanted, it made her stronger—sounds like a win-win situation to me.
A key ongoing struggle she shared is setting and guarding her boundaries. She noted that people-pleasing doesn’t go well with boundaries and feels she’s still too quick to minimise or ignore hers, especially when emotions are involved. The question she keeps asking herself is if she’s guarding her boundaries well enough. In the past, she set little to no boundaries; now, she sets them but feels as though they’re still too ‘loose’. She emphasised that you can’t be too loose with setting and guarding boundaries because it’s about guarding ‘yourself, your soul and your values’. She’s noticed that as her confidence has grown, she has left little to no space for disrespect from others. However, she’s recognised the theory that she indirectly disrespects herself when not setting and guarding her boundaries. This perspective subtly underscores the essential relation between boundaries and self-respect.
Her perspective on difficult periods is particularly inspiring. When going through a hard time, she tries to look at the situation as a whole. The bad few days are just a small part of the bigger picture while the rest is still good. The bad days aren’t setbacks; they’re reminders that challenges exist and funnily enough, help her appreciate the good days. ‘You have to go through the hard things to enjoy life’ she believes, adding ‘the only way out is through’. This resilient mindset connects to her inherited perseverance and emphasises that when you’re going through something, you’re ‘going through’ it, not staying there. She notes that bad days don’t define everything, that would do the good days no justice. This offers a hopeful, practical perspective for navigating life’s inevitable hard times.
‘I invite it in, sit with it and offer it a warm cup of tea.’
When the world becomes too much for our poet, she turns to writing. ‘Words catch me’, she said. Writing, a passion since she was young, it down helps giving the chaos in her mind and soul an external place to manifest. Instead of running from negative thoughts, she ‘invites it in, sits with it and offers it a warm cup of tea’ through writing. Writing has namely always been there for her, it allows her to word her feelings in beautiful ways, sometimes manifesting in journal pages and sometimes in poems. She advises others to try it as a way to process inner turmoil.
When confronted with the question ‘how do you know when you’re not staying true to yourself?’ she answered, calmly, ‘when not trusting my intuition’. Una’s intuition has played a big role in her life, as well as her poetry. During a particular period in her life, she wasn't consciously aware of the negative influences around her, yet these experiences unconsciously manifested in her poetry. It wasn't until later, when reviewing her writings from that time, that she discovered how her intuition had been silently documenting these struggles through her words.
In addition to her quote on inviting negative thoughts in and sharing a cup of tea, she shared that ‘the best thing you can mentally do for yourself is sitting with negative thoughts and feelings, to study them and not blame yourself for having them’. She mentioned meditation, journaling and talking about it as helpful methods.
Purpose
When discussing what she sees as the most misunderstood part of her culture, she said ‘the idea that it’s a weakness to be vulnerable’. Una strongly believes that being vulnerable is one of the most beautiful things you can do as a person. She actively ‘generates vulnerability’ in her writing as a way to be real and raw. She feels this authenticity attracts ‘the most beautiful souls and energy’, those who can find themselves in her ‘perfect imperfection’. This offered me a deep reassessment of vulnerability, from a perceived weakness to a source of connection and strength.
It was through embracing vulnerability that her creative purpose began to take shape. The moment her work first felt like a calling was when she put all her written poems into book format. Suddenly, it felt real and tangible for her. What was once in her head or on loose pages became real, sparking the thought that she truly wants to do something with writing and cementing that feeling. Whenever she thinks about writing, a fire grows inside of her, showing how making your passion tangible can solidify your purpose.
The poet appeared on the stage of Zinnen Zetten at MidWest in Amsterdam earlier this year and recited her poetry. Her stage appearance was the conclusion of a two-month long course on discovering a personal writing language. Organised by Manja Opdam, creative producer and writer, and guided by Naaz, a Kurdish multi-disciplinary artist, the course brought together various individuals and created a truly safe space for writers. During the recital on Thursday, May 8th, attendees of the workshops shared their poetry and moved the entire audience—including me. Some shared words about their parents, others about their inner child, but all about their experiences and the feelings that make them human. Like a few other writers that evening, the stage reading marked Una’s first time sharing her art with an audience. She plans to continue reciting and hopes to publish her own book in the future.
Love and Connection
Una shared her definition of love: ‘actually being heard, seen and understood’ and ‘seeing, experiencing and feeling every aspect of somebody’s existence and embracing it’. This perspective emphasises the deep level of presence and acceptance that constitutes meaningful connection. She shows love by showing up, providing a listening ear and shoulder, remembering small things and nonverbally making it clear that someone matters. These actions demonstrate simple yet powerful ways to make others feel seen, valued and even loved.
The people she’s currently surrounded by heavily influence her for the better. Not by changing her, but by amplifying the parts that were always inside of her. She’s been feeling way more like herself lately because of these relationships. She found this surprising because she used to worry about fitting in and whether she was ‘cool enough’ when she was younger. Surrounding herself with supportive people has encouraged her to grow into who she is and always has been. This demonstrates the positive impact of surrounding yourself with those who encourage authentic growth.
When thinking about what will remain of her, Una hopes people will remember her for her humour, energy, creativity and kindness, how she loved them and held them dear. These qualities offer a glimpse into the kind of person she strives to be and how she wishes to impact others.
Towards the end of our conversation, we shortly discussed the current state of affairs in the world. She shared that she’s not afraid of but rather angry at the current state of the world; abuse of power, innocent people and our Earth. However, alongside this anger, she feels optimistic about our generation. ‘You and I belong to a generation that doesn’t stand still, look away or remain silent, which is something I find very cool’ she added. Relating to this, as of June 3rd, she applied to become an official Dolle Mina, ‘the revolution is now!’ she said.
Una’s way of being, from embracing the details of the ‘visible invisible’ and valuing vulnerability to actively setting boundaries, confronting difficult feelings, finding purpose in authentic expression and building connections, offers a subtle and potent guide for living a more authentic, resilient and connected life. As she is currently feeling more confident and happy, her journey suggests that living in alignment with these principles is a path toward finding joy and peace in who you are and how you engage with the world.
There are some people in life who are so much of themselves that it just radiates from their being, Una is one of those people. She has this radiant spirit that exudes joy, warmth and pure humanity when speaking about her passions and loved ones. She earlier told me her friend described her as a warm yellow and I totally see why.